The Neverending Journey

 

Just starting out with an adorable random picture of my two main reasons for all of this!! 

Okay, so the last time I posted, I posted my measurements. I didn't post a link to that one on Facebook, because I was just super super frustrated with myself for 'taking a step back' over October through December.

On January 27th when I made that last post, my weight was 207, and that's still what my scale is showing today. It's only been like 8 days so I can't be too hard on myself. I'm just a little irritated because I have been working my a** off. However, I KNOW this isn't a super fast process.. I know 8 days is a little soon to be expecting ANY kind of results.

Having said that, I have to say.... even though the scale isn't reflecting any changes, I do FEEL amazing.... I LOVE working out. I LOVE knowing I'm getting healthy & fit. It may not happen 'fast', but it'll happen. I can promise you that! I honestly do feel as though I can see and feel a bit more definition in my legs and arms, and my belly feels smaller.... but that could all be in my head. :P

I think my main frustration is STILL being over 200 lbs. I will be beside myself with excitement when I see '199' on the scale. I know it will give me the faith in myself that I need to push myself even harder. I feel like I push myself hard now, but it's a process. My body wasn't physically strong enough to push very hard just one year ago, but I have come a LONG way. Even since starting strength training roughly 3 weeks ago, I feel more and more confident in what I can do, and in pushing my limits. I just never want to stop!


[ My ideal body!!! ------->>>]



I do get super tired during the day sometimes. I need to make sure I'm getting enough sleep. That's one of the big struggles for me. However, a year ago before starting any kind of working out... I was so physically & mentally exhausted and in denial of what was happening to me, that I was ALWAYS tired. I always went and laid in bed and napped. I just felt like that was going to be my life, forever.  I'm positive it was some depression kicking in, and I'm beyond thankful that I somehow pulled myself out of that last February when I decided to change things.

It was around mid February when I first really started to be serious about losing weight last year.  It's been kind of baby steps since that day. I started out with half an hour on the elliptical a few times a week.. That would wipe me right out at first. Then changed up my eating quite a bit....then went an hour on the elliptical... then went more days a week on top of that... it's all just a process. I'm STILL on that journey now, almost exactly 1 year later. In about 2 weeks it will be 1 full year. Oh how I would LOVE to lost another 12 pounds by then, so I could say I lost 50 in the last year. Who knows if that will happen or is even possible.... but it won't hurt to try!!

It can be really easy to fall into a state of mind time and again where you feel like this is as good as it gets... like you can't do it. You can never be your 'ideal' self. It's during those times that I need to reflect and give myself some credit. This past year, I have gone from having ZERO fitness or good eating habits, to  being pretty good and consistent with an hour of cardio most days of the week. I've also started strength training, and have gotten really good at counting calories and self control. I've also lost 40 pounds. I mean, yes you see people on these weight loss shows who just drop it like it's hot.. haha!! That can be irritating when you feel like you're doing the best you can. But, I know that my 'best' right now , isn't going to be my 'best' a year from now. I'm constantly improving. I won't allow myself to go backwards any more. It's only going to get better from here, and I need to remind myself of that.

Even if the day comes where I am physically where I want to be and maintaining,,,, there will always be some aspect of my life I will be working on making better. Life's a journey, you have to love the PROCESS of evolving and changing for the better. Because like I said.. once you reach your goals, there's always more goals to be made and dominated.

 If I can do this, I promise you anyone can. It's a process but it's worth it, and it's baby steps. It doesn't have to be some big overwhelming thing all at once.