Workout #2!

Today is Sunday February 17th, 6:37pm.

Lately, life has been sooo busy. I've been working alot, picked up a few shifts to help people out at work, etc. Painted and re-upholstered the rocker/glider and ottoman that I had, so that Holly can use it for Emberli. Had Holly's baby shower to go to, so I had to make 2 huge bowls of mandarin orange jello, etc, etc. All excuses, though.. I know. There's always the option of waking up even just half an hour earlier than planned, to get in a quick half hour workout. But, it's hard. For the past few weeks I've had a horribly hard time falling asleep. Have had alot on my mind, about Brecken, Sarah, Holly and Emberli, my own kids... work, Joe potentially getting a new job, and if he does.. should he accept? Figuring out money, bills, trying to come up with an actual budget to stick to, since we've never really had one... etc, etc.

Though, I am pretty proud. I haven't had a drink or a cigarette since December 21st. That's not a horribly long time, but I feel very good about it. And I have no intentions of having either in the future. Especially not the near future. We shall see!
I have, as usual, had good intentions of eating well.. the things happen such as a housekeeper coming into the kitchen, with a container full of 'homemade snickers bars" that she wants us to try.. I had one, but immediately regretted it. It was soo sweet. Good, but too sweet for my taste. Plus, my waist line certainly doesn't need the calories. *sigh*

Anyways, I worked Friday and took Saturday off, [switched shifts] so that I could go to Holly's baby shower yesterday. I only had a carnation instant breakfast, for breakfast. And at the baby shower, I had a plate full of yums. Meatballs, a turkey sandwich, potato salad.. yums. Then I got home at 7 pm. Joe wanted to get the kids to bed, and get some Subway for us. I was not at all hungry, and although I would probably normally go for it.. I didn't. I told him I just wasn't hungry. So, he didn't get any either.

So I got to bed late last night. Then worked 6:30am-1:30pm today. Got off an hour early, and Joe and the kids had went to Caspian for a snowmobile hillclimb at 11am, so I planned on coming home and perhaps taking a nap.. well Facebook suckered me in, so that didn't happen. I had a handful of hershey's kisses. Then after quite few hours of lullin' around and being bored, I finally worked up the ambition to do an elliptical workout for half an hour. To many people, a half an hour workout is probably nothing... but to me, it's pretty difficult. I have zero determination. Zero % of me, wants to work out for half an hour. I always stare at the timer, and it goes by so slow. But having the elliptical in the living room definitely helps that. I did keep glancing at the timer, but was mostly watching the Weekly News Recap. I love watching the news, so it went by fairly fast, and I was sweating bullets.

I always feel so amazing after a workout.. I feel so tingly, and light-headed, and I can feel my muscles strengthening; I almost think I can feel my fat burning away. LOL. I am hoping that since I have an addictive personality, that refraining from 'going out' will cause me to get 'addicted' to working out.. It's such a positive thing.. I think/know it will do wonders for every aspect of my life.

I used to workout for 2-3 hours a day, when I was in college. I just lost ALL ambition to look good, after I met Joe and we had kids. I lost any energy I had, and I didn't care if I laid in bed ALL DAY... If I could do it, I did. It feels good that the kids are grown up now, they're both in school, and i have some time to free my mind, and reconnect with who I am. I've always just concentrated on spending every living second for them; cooking/cleaning, doing projects with them, blogging about them when I did have free time, etc, etc, etc. But I'm at a point in my life, where I KNOW that the best thing I can do for us all, is to get myself back into shape, and be active again. I need to be a good role model for them. I need to be healthy so I can be here for them, for a long time. I need to show them, AND myself.. that you CAN do what ever, and you CAN be what ever, you want to in life. I can, I will.... you WILL see!!!!!!!!

Heart Rates, what??!

Today is Tuesday February 12th. I have not weighed myself since my last post. Mostly because, I know I have been eating horribly and am afraid to see what the scale has to say about it! I have pretty much been eating whatever I want. I have been eating alot more fruits and veggies at work, because I've been craving them actually. For many weeks I cut wayy down on my caffeine, and though it has tons of sugar, I drink 8oz of soda when I need a caffeine kick rather than coffee. For awhile there I was drinking a good 36 oz of coffee a day. It made me SO unbelievably irritable. Since I've cut down, I noticed a drastic change in my attitude, and I've been sleeping much much better. However things have been pretty busy lately, and my sister had been visiting so needless to say I fell back into my rut of not getting much sleep. Thus, drinking a bit more caffeine.
Though I had Joe bring the eliptical up to the living room a good 2-3 weeks ago, I finally used it for the first time just now. I only did a half an hour, while watching the morning news. I pushed myself during the commercials, and kept a swift steady pace during the news. I had almost forgotten that the elliptical has a pulse monitor on it. So I put my hands in what I'm pretty sure were the correct spots. My 'pushing myself' pulse was 175-192, and my steady pulse rate was 140-155ish.
I know nothing about heart rates, and exercising. Quite clearly. So I came online right afterwards to check what all of it means. Apparently, having checked it a half hour after exercising, my 'resting' heart rate is 96. I just used the stop watch feature on my phone and placed my finger to the left of my throat where I can feel my pulse... counted how many beats there are in a 10 second period of time, then you multiply that number by 6 to get your pulse.
Your 'Maximum heart rate', is supposed to be your 220 - your age. So mine would be 196. I just about hit that number while exercising, and know I easily could have but I held myself back from going as hard as I normally would. My 'target heart rate' is supposed to be 117-166. I just learned that a 'target heart rate' is the rate you're supposed to keep your pulse at, for maximum exercise benefits and to avoid risk factors such as a heart attack.
Seeing as I have never been a regular exerciser, and am currently WAY above a healthy weight, and WAY above any weight I've ever been for that matter- I'm glad I checked this all out! Very good stuff to know, and to pass to my children so that they actually know what they are doing when they exercise. I have worked out for far, far too long in the past, using the simple theory that I am supposed to be pushing myself as hard as I can, sweating, red-faced, and sore, for maximum results. I am honestly astonished, and feel a bit bugged that I never was made aware of any of this information.
Regardless. It is great information to know now. Better late than never!
Today is the start of a bad time of month for me to weigh in. So, I'm going to wait until Friday as usual. I don't expect things to be any better by then but I just want to be consistent in weighing in on Friday mornings. Easy to remember.
In all honesty, now that I know that I'm not supposed to literally almost kill myself when I work out, I feel a LOT better about the idea!! I've always hated getting all sweaty & sore.. it's always made me feel like it's just not worth it. But knowing that I have been wayyy over doing it, and can get great results while almost leasurely strolling on the elliptical, makes me feel very VERY hopeful!
I've always had alot of muscle mass... when in the best shape of my life, and the worst, I've always had really big muscles, even if they are now buried under fat, they're there. Maybe that's why it takes me pushing myself extra hard to even feel like I'm accomplishing anything. Well, I'm going to schedule an appointment with a trainer or nutritionist asap too, just to confirm that everything I'm finding here is in fact correct, just in case I'm wrong. But I found the same information on various websites, including my favorite Livestrong.com. That website has so much useful information!

Monday Jan28th 13' MEASUREMENTS

Waist 50" Hips 56.5" Neck 16" Height 62" I'm no professional, but that doesn't sound good. :/ I'm on the livestrong.com website using the Body Fat Calculator... and the verdict is.......66%. EWWWWWWWW. =[ I feel like I've been eating less, haven't had an appetite in ages. Today I danced around with the kids. Not for long though. Decided to rearrange the living room, and have Joe bring up the elliptical tomorrow. I KNOW there's a muchh higher chance I'll use it up here. Also, just weighed myself. 245 lbs. :( What a depressing number. I'm exactly 100 pounds heavier than I was before I had kids. The last time I was 145 was almost 7 years ago. What. The hell. I'm afraid of this number. I neeeeeeeeeed to do something about my weight. I am terrified. I feel so hopeless and helpless. I hate exercising. I don't feel I eat horribly, I know there's room for improvement in us all, but I don't feel like I can do it. :( I wish someone could help me.

Tuesday 1/1/13

Last Friday I weighed myself... 242. Where I started,where I always am, where I ended. lol. But I wasn't taking my stackers, it was during Christmas week, we had a couple Christmas dinners.. I didn't over eat like usual though so that's good. Now I have been taking my stackers again for quite a few days.. I took new years eve off.. but I like how they suppress my appetite, and I FEEL good, even if they aren't making me lose weight.. probably a placebo effect. haha. But I am determined to be more active.. I am excited for it. Yesterday I had a New Years Eve dance party with the kids and danced around... it was fun1!! I haven't danced in sooo long.. I need to do it more!! :)

Today is Sunday December 23rd. I weighed in on Friday, at 239. Which is fine. I feel very confident that I ate well last week, and watched my portions very closely. I really need to start incorporating exercise, but I'm allowing myself to wait until after Christmas. I took one Stacker Friday, but haven't taken any yesterday or today yet. Although I just ate breakfast and do plan to take them today. I haven't really watched super closely w hat I've aten this weekend, but I definitely didn't go crazy. Even when I tried to , aka had pizza... I was full pretty fast. So, all in all things are going great !

Self Control!!!!!! =]

Holly has been over visiting since Sunday, and is staying until next Sunday. I am so happy! It has obviously been a challenge for me, sticking to my diet when I have company around. But I've been doing it!! For example, it's 10:51 on Wednesday night, and I am soo hungry. All I ate today; for breakfast I did have a bacon egg and cheese bagel sandwich.... but after that, I had a cucumber sandwich and that's it! I'm so proud! I admittedly just went and made about 20 pizza rolls, fully intending to eat them. However, I reminded myself that there's like 700+calories in that plate full.... so I had a glass of ice water with a crystal light cherry pomegranate flavor pack in it instead. So proud!!! I admired my belly in the reflection of the kitchen window, and then in the full length mirror by the front door... and realized that my belly is quite noticeably getting smaller... and that was motivation enough!!! Having a normal person belly will be much more satisfying than stuffing fatty food crap in my face. Please guide me and help me to consciously make the right decisions, Lord!!!!!!!!! I need this!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday #2!

So I weighed myself again this morning since it's Friday, and the scale says 242... trying not to look at my previous post because I think that's more than I posted last time and I'm afraid to look! LOL... I've been doing great though with NOT over eating, I've had tons of energy, been in a great, and hopeful mood.. which is going to help this process a LOT! I have been taking stackers for just under 2 weeks now, and my house is cleaner, my mind is more focused, I get bored doing mundane things like Facebooking, and I decided this morning that I am ready mentally to start doing some exercising and setting up a routine for myself! I feel my clothes fitting slightly better somehow, and it feels great to feel great! I am already a confident, attractive person and I cannot WAIT to get back to feeling like I'm on top of the world, like I used to feel before I had the kids! I adore them and wouldn't change my past for anything...but now it's time to change my future!!! :)