Finding inspiration; Deep [or shallow?] thoughts from a haircut!

So, as I sit here watching the snow fall, I am happy to say I am so hopeful and excited for this entire year!

Last week an amazing stylist I know, gave me a makeover..and I LOVED my hair!
The sad thing about me is, sometimes I tend to over-do things I LOVE.[ Thus, the reason for this entire blog in the first place :S  ]  So, thinking it would be fun and exciting, I had my hair cut EVEN shorter somewhere else. [Only because I had a gift card there..otherwise I would have SO gone back to her!]  Well, I got my hair cut short.....like, super short. As in.... the shortest it has EVER been.


A few years ago I had a similar hair cut, but it was a bit longer, and I adored it. Now , this current haircut... I loved at first, but then I'll be honest.. I BAWLED about it for a day or two. It's just shockingly short. LOL

That being said, I am super happy with it as of now!And here's why....[this is a little bit deeper than it seems, trust me. ;)  ]

It has a sort of odd shape when it's down and curly, but wearing it in a half-pony keeps it out of my face. It seems to look decent that way, but obviously now that it's short and I can't hide it in a bun, you can see JUST how naturally curly my hair is. Which I don't mind. I used to hate having curly hair but I have learned to embrace it. I think I always wore it in a bun, because it does draw attention. And, I don't like attention! Hardly anyone I know has hair like mine.

One of the main reasons I decided to cut it in the first place, was because after much discussion Joe & I realized that... I hardly EVER wear my hair down, other than the few times a year we go out.. it gives me headaches, and I get SUPER hot all the time especially at work. It's just a hassle! It's usually in a big ol' bun on top of my head, and I'm always self conscious about it because... well, honestly who wears a bun in their hair !?!?

So now that it's short, and it takes me LITERALLY 5 minutes to straighten- and I LOVE the style when it's straight..... it is pretty nice. :) Plus, wearing my hair in a half pony when it's curly, is better than a bun, right? And although I don't like ponytails either... it actually looks kinda cute I think!?

Joe swears he loves it. He's actually the one who pushed me to get it shorter, for something different. I can't blame the poor guy, he's the one who has to look at me all the time! ;) So, as long as he truly likes it, that's the most important thing here as far as I'm concerned.


Anyways.... the reason I posted any of this here, is because having short hair has shockingly made me realize a few things about myself.

#1.... I had / may still have, a super crazy and irrational emotional attachment to my hair. In all honesty, all of us females probably do, don't we? I mean, our hair is a HUGE part of who we are.. it reflects our personality. This is the very reason I actually was excited to get short hair. I see so many people with cute short hair, they look so well kept and so stylish, and so in control.. and here I was with a big bun on my head. LOL..

#2..... Although hair is important in some ways...... I am NOT my hair. I  needed to realize, that my hair does not define me. That may sound absolutely NUTS, and I'm sure this whole posting does so far.. lol... but, as crazy as this sounds... upon waking the next day after my hair cut [ the day I bawled all day long] I was convinced that this whole year was going to SUCK, everyone would look at me like I'm crazy for cutting my hair, people wouldn't talk to me anymore, and people would avoid socializing with me. Um, yes. My hair literally did make me think those thoughts. It may not have helped that I was taking a muscle relaxer I was prescribed after my concussion. :/ But I was in complete panic mode. Thankfully, with much messing around with my hair, taking pictures, and asking opinions.... and convincing from Joe that he loves it, I am over the panic stage. :P

#3.... No matter what my hair looks like.... I can pull it off! And really, I'm pretty sure I can! Because  even though my hair is frighteningly short, I actually kind of like it... and I never would have dreamed I would! People were commenting on my picture that I have a nice face so that makes it easy for anything to work well... and, without sounding vain, I guess I can't disagree?!

#4.... It was kind of freeing, cutting my hair off. I feel like not having to deal with the immense amount of hair I had, I can focus on my FITNESS aspect of my appearance, rather than stress about my hair, . Because, it's pretty much all gone! It's so short, I literally can only do 2 things with it: Straighten it,or throw it in a half pony tail. Or, wear it down & curly, but that's still going to take some getting used to.. it's so so curly! lol...


So, now that my incredibly insane and embarassing hair dilemma is out there..... I have to admit, yes!! I do feel incredibly shallow for even thinking any of these thoughts in the first place. There are people allll over the world, the country, the state, and even this TOWN dealing with bigger, more pressing issues and dilemmas. And I can see, and totally understand why anyone would roll their eyes at every word I've just typed. So yes I feel like a complete idiot for obsessing over my hair.

Feeling like an idiot for obsessing over my hair,  however, shows me that hey.... you really don't have anything valid to complain about, so shut up and move on. Hair grows. Focus on your fitness, and attain those fitness goals!!!

I used to hide behind my hair... even though it was in a bun, it was like a security blanket for me. Now that it's gone, I'm like, " This is me! Take it or leave it! " I have nothing to hide behind anymore, and that is SO freeing.

Right after my haircut I [irrationally]  thought this year was going to really suck.... but now I realize I was SO wrong.  Because even though this really is a mundane thing in the big picture of life,  it has somehow been the perfect  tool in showing me that I am far more than my appearance.. . and that people can love and like me for who I am.[And, hopefully I'll find that I am someone people find WORTH liking and loving ] And that makes me feel more confident and ready to kick this weight-loss in the ass, than ever before. ....as my sister pointed out, it is literally kind of  saddening that I'm just realizing this, and that it took a haircut... but, I'm thankful to be entering this year with confidence and determination, to be the best me physically and as a friend/ person in general that I can be! Although it really IS just hair, and it does grow... this has definitely been a blessing in disguise!!



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